The Gary Oldman Conspiracy
A friend of mine brought up the topic of Gary Oldman tonight, someone whose work I’ve long admired but whose existence has always frightened me just a little bit. See, Gary Oldman never looks the same twice. And I’m not just talking about his film roles. If you look at his public appearance photos on IMDB, he looks different in each of those too. Personally, I have no idea what Gary Oldman actually looks like.
I’ve had a theory for a while that there is no such person as Gary Oldman. Instead, there is a sort of Gary Oldman Collective, a group of talented actors who all share the name between them. If you think about it, it’s the only logical explanation. If Gary Oldman was a single person, he’d have to be a shapeshifter. And that’s not logical at all.