But, so is murder. We saw Angel kill Jenny Calendar. That was very akin to a real-life situation, just as much as Spike’s trying to force himself upon Buffy.

It’s unfortunate in America that murder is more acceptable than rape. But, popular culture has for decades glorified killing.

People who subscribe to the idea that what unsouled Spike did was worse than what unsouled Angel did are not delving deeply into the issue, just mouthing politically correct platitudes, imo.

I am not saying this is what y ou’re doing at all. I’m very impressed with your thoughts in your blog. I just read a lot of posts at different sites where when I give my opinion that Jenny’s murder was worse than what happened to Buffy in the bathroom the poster will reply “I never thought of it that way”. Jenny’s dead, she remains dead, she’s not a metaphor. Just like Tara is dead.

And I do also think Buffy’s beating of Spike is very close to a real-life situation, just as much as the AR is. People do beat up their lovers out of frustration. Spike was literally physically hurt, we still saw the damage in the next epi.

Of course I understand why Buffy did what she did; I don’t excuse her, but there were extinuating circumstances, mainly that Spike allowed her to hit him, encouraged her to use him as a punching bag. I love Buffy dearly and felt her pain every moment in 6. But her actions were still wrong.

So, to me, Spike’s attempted rape, Angel’s killing of Jenny and Buffy’s beating of Spike are all equally “real-life” situations. But this being Jossverse, there are limits to how much we can compare what happened there to actual real life. And in Angel and Spike’s cases, it’s the soul, or lack of soul, that sets them apart from your usual rapist or murderer.

Thanks for listening to me and replying.

I myself have never understood the whole shipping trend, especially so-called “ship wars.” It seems like people get so biased that they can’t view the story or have a debate from anywhere near an objective viewpoint. Obviously, I’m somewhat biased in this matter with my whole “rape is bad” perspective, but I can live with that.

I, too, don’t believe Spike’s attempted rape shouldn’t be shrugged off. But, what is also important to remember is that he didn’t have a soul. So, what he did is not a “real life” situation, any more than Willow’s mindrape of Tara was a “real life” situation, or Angel’s losing his soul and subsequently psychologically torturing Buffy was “real life” situation, or Buffy’s beating the crap out of Spike in Dead Things was a “rea life” situation. In each of these cases there were circumstances that made it complcated to equate then to actual events in real life.

The big problem in fandom re the AR is some people who dislike the idea of Buffy and Spike as a couple use this as a reason as to why Buffy and Spike can’t have a relationship. I can accept this logic if a person who holds this view also believes Buffy and Angel can’t be together because of what he did when he was unsouled. And thinks the same goes for Willow and Tara. And Buffy and Xander because Xander tried to rape Buffy when he was controlled by the hyena demon. Plus, Buffy can’t be with Spike because she assaulted him.

So, no, the AR shouldn’t be brushed aside. But neither should Angel’s actions when he was unsouled. Or souled Willow’s violation of Tara’s mind.

The soul makes a huge difference that that’s why the events in SR are not exactly parallel to rea life.